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The *irritating noise* that my windscreen wipers made was getting on my nerves so I bought new wipers. I haven't fitted them yet as since I bought new wipers the old one's have been silent. 

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I have short temper issues and many years ago, the windscreen wipers were grating across the windscreen of one of my mini's when it was pissing down with rain. The continuous irritating noise was driving me mad ........ so I punched the screen in anger ...... and smashed the windscreen.    So, not only was I angry,  I was wet as well. My Mrs was not impressed.    So, when the Audi wipers started screeching across the screen, she said "Let's go to Halfords NOW! 

Tell your missus she needn't worry. Windscreens are much tougher than they used to be, you are a lot older than you used to be, so you'd probably just smash your knuckles up a bit.........and cry like a baby 

We fully expected an old Merc to pop up when we clicked the link! 

Problematic

Washed the ML. Probably the 3rd time since buying it... In August 

Apparently it's silver

Strife 

I can think of better ways to spend that money...

Obviously a Mercedes... But not the one you might expect

It's not about the top speed or the fuel economy, but rather the whole package

The *irritating noise* that my windscreen wipers made was getting on my nerves so I bought new wipers. I haven't fitted them yet as since I bought new wipers the old one's have been silent. 

**
I have short temper issues and many years ago, the windscreen wipers were grating across the windscreen of one of my mini's when it was pissing down with rain. The continuous irritating noise was driving me mad ........ so I punched the screen in anger ...... and smashed the windscreen.    So, not only was I angry,  I was wet as well. My Mrs was not impressed.    So, when the Audi wipers started screeching across the screen, she said "Let's go to Halfords NOW! 

If you replace the smoky derv XJ with a last of the line XJ575 that won't be far from the truth.

I wouldn't mind one of them, but they command strong money still, and more than I can justify considering the car I have doesn't really get used.

I wasn't familiar with that model but a quick search shows two 2018 XJ575's, one at £35K and the other at £39,500. Quite a beast I must admit. 
Would I ever have the desire to travel at 186mph, hmm,  yes I probably would.    Would less than 20mpg annoy me since owning a diesel, yes it definitely would. So, based on those two answers it's probably best if I don't buy one. 

New pair of headlight bulb in the little roller skate, also topped up fluids - they do tend to use a bit of oil.
It has a major issue now though. The electric PAS motor has become very noisy, and replacing it involves removing the whole dash before even starting to remove it, which also means removing the steering column, as the motor and column need to be kept as one unit.
So, do I bother ?
Or do I call it a day and replace it with something like this. 
https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/157688623008

I get free charging at work, so economically, it makes sense. 

My heart would rather buy this though.

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/206087135257?_skw=classic+cars&itmmeta=01KJ3ARVVB8S3C0FWNMGBXJSXQ&hash=item2ffbc02019%3Ag%3AAx0AAeSwYkNpm0ed&itmprp=enc%3AAQALAAAA0GfYFPkwiKCW4ZNSs2u11xDx7C1Bo7JzXu%2B9AFLgc%2Ftk%2FXCB3VnCto7nGwNuok%2FOKeEF5xr3GruIFj1nXymXtOBjqWCsn7pR%2BcU3JXahz%2FQr0tEShqWJNI2dBZ6tRYlNdtkMbfpHZvO9dqzuQTX3%2BKJU37jW1vQy%2FqFQS1r3Skho3ndjF7Xlj%2FAdST33w%2FClBQ%2B9GlA3sKXNqtuieZ8cD8%2BcvQp0XNbnrvvxRKhX4VyufHgqfjdn0WcatTnHj2hku%2Bk8Jx3UPVATuh0vAd%2FHry0%3D%7Ctkp%3ABk9SR4a_4-qQZw&keyword=classic+cars&sacat=29751&relatedSearch=true

Wife